If Only You Knew - Story Pt. 6 (FINAL)

Continued from If Only You Knew - Story Pt. 1, Story Pt. 2, Story Pt. 3, Story Pt. 4 and Story Pt. 5

"Mandy!"

   Jeremy finally reached his room, panting for air. He saw Mandy sitting on the window sill, looking out at the night sky. When she turned, her face seemed paler, washed by the moonlight. "Don't turn the lights on, Jeremy," she said softly when his hand reached for the switch. He slumped on his bed, facing her, couldn't utter even a word.

"Now you know."

   Her voice came out as a half-whisper. Even though the room was a bit dark, Jeremy could see the light outside, reflected in her expression. Her tears. She spoke again. "I am not real, Jeremy. No one can see me except you." Jeremy did not seem surprised at this. He just looked at his feet. "All this time, I acted as if people can see me, when the truth is, I can walk around your house wherever and whenever I want to. I told you I'm good at hiding, didn't I? Well, that's true, in a way. You never asked me how I got up on that tree although almost everyday I watched you during your classes. You didn't insist on knowing the answers, why I came to your house, where I got my food, where's my parents...you probably think that you didn't have the heart to ask me, but actually, it's part of the charm put on you by my existence. Because...if you ask too much, I wouldn't be able to stay with you. How am I supposed to answer those questions, right? You would be too curious to just accept it. I can't...tell you that I'm...dead." Saying the word 'dead' seemed to be really painful for her. It is, for Jeremy. He somehow felt guilty. He didn't do anything to ease her sufferings. His memory traveled back to the day when a man stared at him when he was outside the music store, talking to Mandy. He had thought that it was because of his torn jeans, but now he understood. It was because he was talking to no one. The man couldn't see Mandy. She's a ghost. That's why the librarian shushed him, and him only. She couldn't see nor hear Mandy either.

"I guess it's time to say goodbye."

   When he heard that, Jeremy sat up straight and said, "No." Mandy just looked tiredly at him. He fumbled for the right words to say. "Mandy, you...you can stay, as long as you like. I...don't mind. Really. I'm not...I'm not afraid of you."

"Jeremy, I'm dead! I should be gone by now. I should be grateful to have had my wish fulfilled..."

"Your wish?"

   Jeremy didn't quite understand. But Mandy just said, "I want you to know that I cherish your presence in my life, even if we've never even talked before."

"I'm the one who's supposed to say that, Mandy."

   Mandy laughed bitterly. She held up her hand. "See this bracelet? It was given to me to keep me here. It gave me physical form and enabled you to see me..."

"...but it is no longer of use."

   She raised her hand higher. "Jeremy, always stay strong and fight for what you believe in. But if the right thing to do is to let go, never regret your decision. Believe me, I know." Jeremy just looked straight at her. He somehow knew what was coming, but he stayed frozen on his bed, his mind blank. Mandy smiled. Such sadness in her smile that to Jeremy, it was not a smile at all.

"Goodbye, Jeremy."

    Then, she smashed her wrist against the window sill.

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   Jeremy jumped in shock, at both the act and the loud sound of it. When he blinked, there was no Mandy standing there anymore. Something glinted under the moonlight that streamed in through the window and caught his eyes: Mandy's broken bracelet. Even as he watched, it slowly fades from his sight.

   Jeremy let himself fell backwards on the bed and closed his eyes. He didn't bother to move, and stayed that way until morning came.

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   Jeremy woke up to the name of him being called. He sat up in a flash. "Mandy?"

   His mother yelled again. "Jeremy, breakfast's ready! Come down and eat." Heaving a sigh, Jeremy plonked back down on his bed. He remembered the bag Lily gave him. Ignoring his mother's call, Jeremy emptied everything from the bag onto the bed. There's a picture album, a book, Amanda's class ring, a pendant and a present box, apart from her framed photo. He opened the photo album first. They contained photos of Mandy, but when he turned over the next few pages, he was surprised to discover photos of him too. A lot of Mandy's photos were taken with him in the background. There were also his class pictures and a few from those football matches he participated in.

   Next was the book. It had maroon cloth covering and on the front cover, Mandy had written 'All About Amanda Maxson and Jeremy Dicken'. It was diary, in which Mandy had written only about her and Jeremy. She wrote that she went to all his matches, her feelings towards him and her shy intention of giving him her class ring as a sign of her deep affection. She put a small photo of him along with hers in her locket, which she wore all the time. She expressed her hope that one day, she would be brave enough to confess to him. But that hope was shattered when she found out about her medical condition.

   Jeremy took the oval-shaped pendant and opened it. Inside were his photo on the right half and Mandy's on the left. He stared at it for a moment before continuing his reading.

   On one page, Mandy mentioned about her '7 Wishes'.

♥   I hope that Jeremy is always happy.

♥   I want to share his joy, but more importantly, his sadness.

♥   Master cooking all his favorite food!

♥   I wish he would know how much I like love him.

♥   Want to be with him, even only for a short time.

♥   Maybe I want to be his wife! =)

♥   If only, if only, if only it's possible, I wish I could spend the rest of my life with him, only him!

     Jeremy was overwhelmed.  Mandy's 7 wishes was written simply and maybe a bit childish, but all seven concerning him. Of all seven, only a few were fulfilled. He couldn't be high-spirited all the time, but Mandy did make him happy being with her, although he did got mad several times. And Jeremy knew that she had gotten her number four and five wishes.

   His mother knocked and opened the door. "Jeremy, your breakfast's getting cold!" She caught sight of Mandy's things. "What's that?" Quickly Jeremy put both his arms protectively over them.

"Nothing, just my stuff. Can you leave my breakfast in the microwave? I'll heat it up later."

   Seeing his mother all dressed up, Jeremy asked, "Are you going out?"

"Yes, dear. We're invited to lunch with a friend of your father. Remember Uncle Peter? You'll be fine by yourself, right?"

"Yeah, don't worry. Have a blast."

"Thanks, honey."

   After his mother closed the door, Jeremy returned his attention to Mandy's diary. The rest of her entries all depicted her sick days, but she never mentioned it directly. Jeremy read on until he reached the second last page. Mandy wrote about the present she intended to give anonymously to Jeremy on his next birthday. At this point Jeremy stopped to calculate the days left until his birthday. Two weeks! He hadn't realized it was coming near. If only Mandy could stay a bit longer, they probably could celebrate his birthday together, he thought.

   For his birthday present, she had chosen a Rolex watch. She really indulged in it because, as she sadly pointed out the diary, she doesn't have much time left and she 'might not be around for the next, next and next birthdays'. Jeremy looked at his present, which was wrapped with a red wrapping paper that got heart shaped patterns on it. He resolved not to open it until the day of his birthday.

   On the last page, Mandy had written: 'This is where the entries end, because I couldn't write no more. My physical being will be gone, six feet under, but my feelings will live with the memories. This diary is the window to my heart, ever since my world revolved around you. Jeremy, if only you knew how much I love you...'

   Jeremy closed the book and laid on his bed. He fingered the pendant, then held it up higher to see. His smiling face, obviously cut out from his class photo, and Mandy's smiling face looked back at him. Jeremy wondered how would his life be if Mandy hadn't come to him. He wondered about the strange bracelet. He wondered about the realness of it all. Her brief presence had indeed changed his life.

   He looked up at the white ceiling and gripped the pendant tightly in his palm. "If only, Mandy..." he said aloud.

"...if only you knew how much I love you too."

- THE END -