These Torturous Feelings That You Don't Understand

'We all experience sorrow in our lives...there were times when it got too much and sometimes we wonder, how did I manage to get thru that?'

        You can't think of anything other than wanting to scream      

      To have a fit, to smash everything you can get your hands on    

                    To stomp until your bones crack                   

                    To punch until your fists bleed                   

         An urge to destroy so powerful it reaches out to evil        

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                   But you can only sit down and cry                  

                      Mourn the pain in your soul                     

                   Not knowing why you feel that way                  

                    Afraid of becoming a bad person                   

                       A time bomb in your heart                      

                        A grief so unfathomable                       

        You even tried sitting motionless to stop from hurting        

                     And end up crying even harder                    

                You wish someone would come and save you              

                    Stop the sorrow from killing you                  

              Stay with you and hear what you want to say             

   Soothe the crippling cold fire and keep you from wondering astray  

                  You pray, you did, for self control                 

            For the life-saving smiles when patience is poor          

                  Until you find that you've recovered                

                The deadly fire that burned became ashes              

                      Feeling subdued and defeated                    

                         Too tired to care                            

                Thinking maybe this is your way to heal               

                             Then it starts                           

                             All over again                           

         These torturous feelings that you don't understand...