Twisted Life, Twisted Story. *updated*

P/s : All the weirdness is yours to love or to hate. Either way, hi ;) .

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A boy lived near the outskirts of town, in his own huge, gloomy, out of century and out of place castle that his family owned for generations.

Not one to befriend many, mostly he just kept to himself. As long as no one disturbs him, he would disturb no one. 

Until, that is, the day he met those eyes.

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Walking along the lively streets one night, he was feeling really down when he first saw those green eyes. She just came out from a car. The pair of jade greens suddenly turned and caught his eyes. A quick smile of greeting, and they walked away.

He was caught off guard.

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From that moment on, every Friday and Saturday he would stick around that area the whole night. He observed, and listened. He tried to be near when he can. But those jade greens never rest upon him again. They didn't notice him, and he's as invisible to them as he had made himself to be to people all his life.

His curiosity bloomed, but that's as far as they got.

For the moment.

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And on one particular Tuesday, there's a large gathering. The noisiness of the crowd filled his senses. He came, and as if there's a built-in sensor in him, he found them again after seconds of scanning the area.

Those jade greens were talking, and he clearly heard.

"What's your number?"

"31...and what's yo-..."

He didn't need to hear the rest of the conversation. He's going to get it.

He would know her name.

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Scanning the names on the board, he saw them. Number 31.

Jade Haney.

Er, weird name, he thought. Should i memorize it backwards in case i forget it? Yenah Jade? Jade Yenah.

So she's 22.

The people went about their own business busily. Through the bustling crowd he kept glancing in her direction. She, while waiting, played with her cellphone nonstop. He waited, too...

...for the chance to get closer.

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Then, that lifechanging opportunity came. He saw it, and took it. Eventhough he felt he didn't stand a chance.

With a fortunately convincing reasons, he managed to get her number. He was lucky she couldn't wriggle her way out of it. She was hesitant, but he was able to be even more persistent without coming across as forceful. 

Lucky him, indeed. Fate spun its yarn in his favor.

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He texted her. Even called her. He wrung out a thousand reasons just to contact her.

Still, she seemed cold. Her replies were mostly late and their phone calls were so short that he thought even a cat would take longer than that to take a piss. He felt like giving up...

...when finally, she started to enjoy his company.

It's great. She's getting comfortable.

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Starting with a tiramisu that kept her staying up late, they began to form a bond. He was unbelievably funny and she loved his stories. She would wait eagerly for his calls and they would talk until sunrise. He was fresh and interesting. She couldn't believe that their sense of humor matched perfectly.

She looked forward to making time for him, and him the same.

But he forgot her full name.

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She didn't know he went straight to the name list displayed on the notice board the other day after he found out her list number. So she also didn't know that he forgot her name even when he fancifully tried to memorize it backwards.  

Talk about unnecessary. She had fun withholding her name from him.

And what a laugh she had when she found out about him trying to memorize her name in a fancy way but epic-failed.

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Nights after nights they had long talks. He cleverly brought up one of her favorite topics, movies and used it as bait to keep her hooked.

And one day they agreed to meet, to exchange movies. To give her a copy of the ones he watched over and over again, the ones that were so funny she knew she wouldn't be able to resist. The ones that he cunningly suggested and told snippets of because he knew her funny bone too well.

Both waited eagerly for that day to arrive.

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Her stomach was making butterfly cakes, churning and churning. He missed her house and had to turn back. Her outfit was so sunny and his was so dark. She lived the days and slept the nights while he's more nocturnal. He was thinking how opposed they were and yet there she was in front of him, agreeing to meet him when she had just known him for like, two days.

Actually, it was only about two months, but she knew much about him, he made sure of that. She might know less than some people, but deeper than most people, enough to back off if she had wanted to.

It's amazing that she didn't.

Their not-quite-first-date first date went very well. A day at the mall and a lunch shared together. The said movies exchanged. Both had immense fun. She finally experienced a normal, real teenage date. She never had a real one, much less one that felt so right, so carefree, so anticipated, that is totally, mutually, wonderfully comfortable. It's like she finally found her soulmate, a BFF that is a BGF (best guy friend) with a goofy, crazy and out-of-the-box sense of humor that complement her own.

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One date led to another.

Friendship blossomed. What was initially a one-sided attraction quickly whirlwinded its way into a full romance that took tentative steps into the unknown.

They had quite strong feelings for each other, considering the short time it took for their courtship. The strength came from his direct ways and her ready acceptance. But no matter how strong their feelings are, their past and present enveloped their lives with complications. They were both unsure of their future together. In fact, they were so unsure that they were getting ready for farewells even as their love had just started to find ground. Would the seed of their intertwined fates grow into a blessed tree of till-death-do-us-part?

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Where there is love, there will almost always be fights. Fights that happen because one cares, expects, suspects and expectations failed, suspicion led to jealousy. Fights that hurt. Starting from the small ones that took seconds to make up to the huge, huge fights that were so heated they were basically don't-you-dare-be-mine-again. Sometimes the fights were so tiresome that they kind of broke up just to stop the fight. But deep down, neither really gave up on each other. No matter how hard and hopeless it was, somehow they always patched things up in the end. It was unbelievable how they were still together despite their pasts, presents and problems.

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He had such a vampiric effect on her. He sucked the misery out of her and breathed joy into her life. He can reverse it, in an instant. He was unpredictable, perfectly capable of saying the words that stung most in the calmest of ways. He didn't pamper her. He was the only person that ever really, really provoke her to the point of her being explosively outraged, nearly sprouting fangs herself...and almost always win the arguments. Most of the times she can't beat him. He was challenging and she didn't like being challenged. He confronted her, pushed her to the limits and was really annoying, but as annoying as a BFF who is too precious and involved and will most probably stay BFFNENE (BFF and Ever and Ever) and knew it. It was devastatingly interesting in a way. She finally met her match (that matched her like a jigsaw puzzle that didn't quite fit but still seemed matching. In an insane way).

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And while he had that effect on her, she still managed to make his life miserable without even trying, even when she tried her best not to. Not that she wanted to. She never intends to. But that's their fate. Love at first sight for him and dreams came true for her that brought about both heaven and hell to their relationship. All those years of daydreaming about what falling in love would be like kind of materialized into him. He was what she wanted all along, and it was amazing that he found her first. She had always been the one to find, but never found or wanted. At least, not sincerely and ferociously and persistently wanted. He was one of a kind, one that she would never have deemed to be her type. As God would have it, he turned out to be totally her type.

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Days went by, turning into months, passing into years for the sweet courtship that wove understanding and getting to know each other with fights that threatened to destroy or built strength. He knew her life stories, she knew his. As hardheaded and selfish that he appeared to be, there's still a pretty big but sensible heart underneath. She loved the way he lived with his flaws and mistakes, that despite the bad things that he's done and been through in his past, he survived. He became a better person. His scars made him stronger. She admired his composure and self control, his sense and courage. At least he was better off than her. She was naive, too trusting, unfamiliar with the cruel nooks of the world, not knowing the ways of human manipulation. She became a test subject, and she was an easy prey, something she only realized later than she should. Too naive for thinking that if she meant good and no harm to nobody then harm won't come to her. Well, she was terribly wrong and found how twisted fate could be. Harm did came, and she learned it the hard, hard way. Her life was in ruins, and no one would understand how victimized she was. And to think that such things were able to happen just because she didn't want to lose a friendship. Yes, the reason seemed innocent enough, wasn't it? Well, not so much when manipulation came into play. Anything innocent could turn into the ultimate evil by manipulation. When she thought about it, she laughed to herself. Who knew better? Who would believe? She was easier to blame, and blamed she was. The resentment might never go away, but she picked herself up and carried on. And in that process of carrying on, she met him.

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He met such an interesting character. No, now that he'd known her, she was a selfish, egoistic, stupid and kind person (it's a weird combination but it's all the words that he had used to describe her) with an interesting story. She had lived through a nightmare and lived against herself. She became a person she had never thought and dreamt of becoming. He might not know it but she had wondered for so many times about her sanity and awareness during those times. She even wondered whether she had been possessed, seeing how ridiculuous everything was when she thought about it again. And she kind of wish she was so that she can say she was not at fault. 

But she was. 

Too naive. Just being too naive and to put it more clearly, plain stupid. Actually, maybe she really had been possessed. How could anybody be more stupid?

Apparently she could.

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There's someone that she used to know. Someone she truly hated at first for being the player and user that he was. But then, yes, being the player and user that he was, he roped her in into his life. That's how good he was. He turned her from someone who despised him into someone who could love him and his moves were very well played. He could always turn a situation to favor him. Her mistake was because she believed that the people that she knew wouldn't be so heartless. Her mistake was she believed some, forgived some of all his despicable acts and lies. He used her friend as a trap to draw her closer.

In the end, one of the bestest friends that she cherished so dear reached the point where she burned all the stuff that were given to her. She couldn't stop the instant tears when she found that out. She lost a precious friendship because of that man. She became a bad person because of him. Because of him, she who were ignorant were seen as someone who was heartless. He played his games well. Very well, indeed.

She knew he was bad, but only after she left him did she found out how bad. So the rumors were true that he couldn't care less about her. Outwardly he appeared to protect he but behind her back, he himself was the one who smeared her name. He was the one who, in essence, kicked her out on the streets with a bad name and best of all, he got the most out of it.

She felt not one bit of regret leaving him. It was way past due time anyway. She prayed to God that she will never ever have anything to do with that kind of people again. All the mockings, the way people looked down on her was something she went through numbly, alone. He was there for her sometimes but she knew now he wasn't really there for her, he was just playing his supposed role.

Boy was she glad that he was out of her life, glad that she didn't fell for his tricks again, glad that she didn't succumb to his psychological games anymore, thankful for the people that helped her kept him away from her. 

She freed herself from the most heartless manipulator she had ever met. 

What's happened, happened. Nobody is in her shoes, nobody understands. It's up to her to build herself a good life, and she started over.

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She was grateful for that guy who came into her life and boosted her recovery. He was an outsider who knows more about her than her friends. He just happened to have that gift, annoyingly. He was such an alien to her yet he made her comfortable with his non judgemental ways, which worked with other girls, too, annoyingly. But that aside, she thought that maybe God sent her an extra someone to help her cope, an addition to her circle of support. Well, she wasn't complaining.

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He, along with her friends were a great company to her not-so-broken heart. She felt amazingly happier, relieved that it's totally not as devastating as she thought it would be. They had fun, life went on as usual.

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As time passed by, she had grown to accept that all things are not permanent. Through the course of life they shared together, she decided to let him lives the way he wanted to. He was not hers and she was never able to make him believe that she cherished him more than any guy she has ever had relationship with. It was quite frustrating because deep in her heart there was this nagging feeling that screamed to disagree whenever he insisted that she didn't love him enough due to their constant fights. Or is it denial? It really didn't felt like denial. That puzzled her more. Numbness spread like anesthesia onto her emotions as he constantly expressed his disbelief and that he no longer loved her. She thought that sooner or later she's going to come to the point of not caring anymore. They were tired of bickering, and when they no longer fought, life had became tiring enough that they lost the vigor and spirit. Pathetic. After all, she was dull and ordinary, full of faults. His heart has understandably became bored. What would become of the two people once dreaming of a future together, but are now together watching their dreams wither away? She couldn't say.

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She knew she still had her BFFNENE. She knew she still had her friends who were like lighthouses signaling the ships to the path of safety, who were like safety buoys in the middle of the sea, who kept her company, who were nice and sweet. They were cupcakes with icings, keeping things going and lively. But the best thing of all, through her twisted life, in her depths of despair and moments of burnt hopes, she succumbed to her Creator. She learned how to give it up, to The One who owns it all. Sometimes it was so tiring to keep surviving, as she didn't know when was she was supposed to stop or kept moving. But she learned to let go of her worries bit by bit, to live a little, to admit her mistakes and to stop trying to be perfect. Though she knew that she would never be that, there were still times when she couldn't help trying, as though it would lower her worth if she fails.

She had to learn to love herself completely.

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-  Will continue later  -