Scribbles under the stars

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Have you cried while feeling so broken and alone, so lost that you felt like you are going insane, that to stop that crushing pain you really just had to hold your own hands tightly the way two persons would, hoping for the little comfort that you so desperately needed..because that comfort, is now a stranger.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Have you ever had to literally cover your ears, to stop hearing the conversation you wish you didn't had, or the things you wish you didn't hear, replaying again and again in your mind?

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you know when you truly genuinely wish for someone to have the best things in life, but your heart just proceeded to override your brain, eventually vandalizing your words and actions.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Then you scolded yourself over and over for the stupid things you did or said, promising yourself you'll be better, then end up losing the battle to your heart in split second? Ambushed by your own self without even had the chance to think twice. Shame on you, brain.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you know what it feels like to miss someone terribly, but couldn't even text properly or have a decent call anymore, because life. Life happens.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you understand how it feels to have to convince yourself that something better is coming to you..

...over and over again? Each day?

After losing what feels like the best?

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you know how hard it is to go through routine without the most likable parts of it in it? 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

And through those times when the pain suddenly hits, your heart beats wildly and you just want to collapse somewhere to recover, but cant.

Because you are somewhere you don't really want to be doing something you don't really feel like doing, around other people who are oblivious to your struggles.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you know how hard it is wishing and praying for someone's happiness while knowing that you are not a part of it anymore?

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The weight of emotions can be really crippling. Many people will agree. After all, we are just human.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Why Do You Still Keep Her Picture?

You said she's just a stranger

And she said the same

But she sent you a picture

Her looking so pretty

You said you and her could probably be together

If there is no me

Imagine how i feel hearing about that

Knowing love is fading in your heart

You're so suffocated

A caged bird for so long

Longing to be free

A desire so strong

She's someone who's passing by

While you're stuck at a junction

Greetings turned into conversations

Then you're listening to her heart

Soon she's into you

What am i to do?

I can't blame love

When love is blind

When you and her parted ways

Why do you still keep her picture?

She was such a stranger

But of course, she's pretty and probably much nicer

If things really end

Then i really don't understand

Why do you still keep her picture

Even when i point it out to you

It's still in your phone

Do you like to be reminded of her?

Maybe that's why you still keep her picture

And never ask for mine anymore.

Dilemma

standing by the window
wishing upon the stars to help me
searching my memories for
what we've been through that i still don't see

i ask the moon a question
can he see you and what you are doing now
confused, to whom i should turn
want to make you understand but don't know how

i'm missing you and the way you touch my heart
unsure if you feels the same when we are apart
why am i afraid to say these words
am i just too hard for you to love

can't look straight into your eyes
but when i do i know what it says
i just can't do things right
and i understand what we both hide

sometimes i wonder for hours just thinking
what should i do about you
i toss and turn though i know i should not stay
cos when we care there is pain that is hard to bear