Saturday, August 17, 2013

I Lost You

Despair of love [fabryking61.deviantart.com]
In impatience, in ego
I lost you
In mindfulness that are too much
I lost you
In carelessness, foolishness
I lost you since the beginning
I lost you
I lost you
Promises that we uttered
Mutually broken
Sorry that I made us this way
Wish I could make us better
I touched your hands
But didn't grab them tight
Didn't hold them right
Even more when we fight
I saw your tears
Wiped them for you once, twice
But they've never really stopped
Not with all these lies
How could I make you walk
This thorny path with me
If I couldn't even pick the roses for you
Couldn't at the very least shield you with warmth
Melting the cold, hard jabs of the world
How could I
When you did everything for me.
And I did nothing for you.
Couldn't stand me lacking too much
That it's finally wearing you down
Finally wearing you down
Finally wearing you down
You won't free yourself
And I know it's not right
To keep you in my messy life
So I let you go
Let you go now
Go now before you're broken further
And I'll get my act together
In regret forever
That I lost you.
When I become better
If in your heart you have no other
I'll come back
I'll find you…
That’s what I thought before.
But this moment looks me in the eye
Told me to quit harassing you
Told me to quit trying to be someone that I can never be
Quit lying to myself that I can be better
When in fact, I’ll never be able to
Because I’m never good enough in the first place
I’ve never been good enough.
In the pit of lies you’ve thrown me back into
This is not taking the easy way out
This is just getting tired of hurting us
So I’ll stay here now
And save you the hassle of reliving this hell.

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