I Lost You

In impatience, in ego

I lost you

In mindfulness that are too much

I lost you

In carelessness, foolishness

I lost you since the beginning

I lost you

I lost you

Promises that we uttered

Mutually broken

Sorry that I made us this way

Wish I could make us better

I touched your hands

But didn't grab them tight

Didn't hold them right

Even more when we fight

I saw your tears

Wiped them for you once, twice

But they've never really stopped

Not with all these lies

How could I make you walk

This thorny path with me

If I couldn't even pick the roses for you

Couldn't at the very least shield you with warmth

Melting the cold, hard jabs of the world

How could I

When you did everything for me.

And I did nothing for you.

Couldn't stand me lacking too much

That it's finally wearing you down

Finally wearing you down

Finally wearing you down

You won't free yourself

And I know it's not right

To keep you in my messy life

So I let you go

Let you go now

Go now before you're broken further

And I'll get my act together

In regret forever

That I lost you.

When I become better

If in your heart you have no other

I'll come back

I'll find you…

…

…

…

That’s what I thought before.

But this moment looks me in the eye

Told me to quit harassing you

Told me to quit trying to be someone that I can never be

Quit lying to myself that I can be better

When in fact, I’ll never be able to

Because I’m never good enough in the first place

I’ve never been good enough.

In the pit of lies you’ve thrown me back into

This is not taking the easy way out

This is just getting tired of hurting us

So I’ll stay here now

And save you the hassle of reliving this hell.