If Only You Knew - Story Pt. 1 (Warning! Mushy)

Here is the story that I promised you after The Wood and Dance Of Silence. Warning: Might not be suitable for those who despise mushy ♥♥♥ stories and have weak stomach. Be forewarned! Muahahahaha!~

******************************************

   Jeremy stopped walking when he saw the same girl again peering at him from behind the tree. He was puzzled. That girl couldn't possibly had wanted to talk to him, right? He didn't recognized her, but all morning she had been following him and had never once try to talk to him. She had disappeared when Jeremy turned to look but he could still see part of her skirt sticking out from one side of the tree. 'What does she want?' Although he was curious, Jeremy decided he would give her one last chance to introduce herself. She knew that he knew that she was there.

   So he continued walking. His destination was the music store situated next to his favorite fastfood joint, JoyLife.

   After a few minutes walking, Jeremy heard the rustle of leaves and turned in time to catch a glimpse of brunette hair. The girl had ducked behind a tree again this time. He was beginning to get angry. That girl couldn't be following anybody else, he was the only person walking along the road then. So he marched right up to the tree and demanded, "Why are you following me?"

   There was no answer. But Jeremy knew she was still there because of her black skirt. It stuck out prominently. "Well, aren't you going to answer me? I've noticed you since this morning, like a squirrel going from tree to tree. Haven't you learned your manners, spying on people like that?"

   At last, the girl stepped out from her hiding place. She was quite pretty, with almost gothic-like black-rimmed eyes. She looked guilty, and blurted out, "I'm so sorry, Jeremy.", before he could say anymore. Jeremy frowned.

"How did you know my name?"

   The girl didn't answer, she just looked down nervously. "Who are you? Aw, come on. I won't bite," Jeremy said impatiently. It was 7.30 and he was supposed to be home already.

"Okay, I'm tired of waiting for your explanation. I'm going."

   Having said that, he sauntered off, leaving the girl alone. In his haste to get away, Jeremy tripped over his own shoelace. "Ow! Damn." The girl, who was speechless when Jeremy left her, could not contain her laughter. She stopped when Jeremy glared at her. Smiling, she went over and held out her hand to help him get up, but already he was, brushing away the dirt on his jeans. "You saw me fell, and you had a good laugh about it. Now at least you should tell me your name, shouldn't you?" He took the opportunity to question the girl now walking beside him.

"My name is Mandy. And...I am going to live with you."

"What?!"

   Jeremy turned to face Mandy. "Are you my long lost cousin?" With such innocence in her big round eyes, Mandy answered. "No..."

"My sister, although unknown to me?"

"Nope."

"Did you know me from school?"

"Err...actually, yes..."

    "Then why don't I remember you? Let me see..." They started walking again, Jeremy trying his hardest to recall. "Mandy...Mandy...are you, though you look quite different...are you, by any chance..."

   "Yes?" Mandy said hopefully.

"Mandy Moore?"

   She seemed to crumble from disappointment. "No, that is the name of a singer and actress!" Jeremy grinned sheepishly. "Oh, yes, right." Mandy urged him, "Try again, Jeremy. You must remember me. We bumped against each other so often during high school!"

   Jeremy tried again, but he still couldn't remember. He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, I really can't recall. The only person I remember whom I often bumped into was...it was Lily..."

   Mandy sensed Jeremy's tender voice and when she looked, his face had soften and for a moment, he seemed lost in a faraway thought. She suddenly realized that Jeremy probably never noticed her at all. 'Who are you kidding, Mandy? Just who do you think you were?' She thought sadly. But still...

"I'm still going to live with you, Jeremy. No matter what."

    "What? Oh..." Jeremy had momentarily forgotten about it. Then like a rock hitting him on the head, the meaning of it sunk into his comprehension. He whirled around. "No! I mean, why do you want to live with me? I don't even remember you. This whole idea is absolutely crazy!"

"No, it's not!"

"Yeah, it is! Are you pulling my leg or what? You might as well pull my butt too!"

"Jeremy, I don't have other place to go! I promise, there wouldn't be any trouble."

"My parent are gonna find out! Where are your parents, anyway?"

   The moment Jeremy said it, he knew he had made a mistake. That might be the cause of Mandy's problem. Maybe they were gone, and Mandy didn't have anybody else to turn to. But hadn't she got her friends? Or relatives? Tears had welled up in her eyes. She strode ahead of him and their walk continued in silence.

 - To be continued -

Continued in If Only You Knew - Story Pt. 2
 

Dilemma

standing by the window
wishing upon the stars to help me
searching my memories for
what we've been through that i still don't see

i ask the moon a question
can he see you and what you are doing now
confused, to whom i should turn
want to make you understand but don't know how

i'm missing you and the way you touch my heart
unsure if you feels the same when we are apart
why am i afraid to say these words
am i just too hard for you to love

can't look straight into your eyes
but when i do i know what it says
i just can't do things right
and i understand what we both hide

sometimes i wonder for hours just thinking
what should i do about you
i toss and turn though i know i should not stay
cos when we care there is pain that is hard to bear

Why Choose Silence And Just Letting It Be? Kenapa Pilih Untuk Berdiam Diri?

Dalam dunia ni, ada banyak benda yg dirasakan tidak adil. Ada banyak perkara yang akan menimbulkan kemarahan, sakit hati, kesedihan, ketakutan dan kekecewaan. Ada yang kekal dalam ingatan dan ada yang dilupakan. Tapi berbanding lupa, perkara yang lebih penting adalah penerimaan dan kemaafan...tak kirala pada diri atau pada orang lain. Kerana kalau lupa, pengajaran yang ada mungkin akan turut dilupakan. Kalau memaafkan, hati jadi lebih ringan. Apa yang terjadi, yang baik jadikan sebagai teladan dan yang buruk jadikan sebagai sempadan.

Ha. Mungkin ada yang mengatakan, memang senang mulut engko berkata-kata, mampukah jika engko yang perlu buat itu semua?

Memang berat. Mampukah kamu? Semuanya bergantung pada penerimaan kita bila akal dan perasaan, minda dan hati berperang: Diam atau melawan? Dipijak atau memberontak? Lupakan atau berdendam? Biarkan atau balas?


Pernahkah, dalam keadaan di mana ramai yang akan faham jika anda memilih untuk membalas atau berdendam malah mereka begitu bersemangat menyokong anda, tetapi anda memilih tindakan yang sebaliknya, iaitu berdiam diri dan membiarkan?

Berdiam diri tidak bermakna lemah. Memang sesetengah orang akan memandang kita lemah, malah bodoh tapi itu tidak bermakna anggapan mereka betul. Pujian atau cacian sama saja, kedua-duanya harus diterima dengan berpada-pada. Pujian mungkin ada palsunya dan cacian mungkin ada benarnya. Tetapi, hanya kita yang berada di kedudukan kita, dan mereka tidak melalui 100% apa yang kita lalui. Kadang-kadang seronok memerhatikan mereka yang menganggap kita tidak tahu apa-apa. Kadang-kadang lebih seronok menyertai permainan mereka. Kan?


Berdiam bukan bermakna mengalah atau berhenti berjuang. Kadang-kadang penat memaksa kita berehat seketika. Putus asa pun ada pengakhirannya jika kita dapat semangat untuk bangkit kembali. Cuma, hidup ini terlalu singkat dan tak berbaloi untuk berdendam lama-lama atau berputus asa. Lebih baik buat perkara yang menggembirakan, tinggalkan masa lalu yang membebankan perasaan namun jangan lupa apa yang menjadikan siapa kita hari ini, dan cari peluang untuk diri sendiri dalam baki waktu yang masih ada untuk kita. Mungkin dalam perlawanan ada semangat yang nyata, tapi berdiam diri juga ada kekuatannya yang tersendiri. Semangat perjuangan tetap kena ada, tetapi kekerasan dan caci maki tidak semestinya perlu dibalas serupa, ada waktunya lebih baik simpan tenaga untuk sesuatu yang lebih bermakna.

****************************************

There must have been so many times that we've heard how unfair life is. So much anger, pain, sadness, fear and disappointment. There's some that remain in memories and some that are forgotten. But rather than forgetting about it all, it might be better to have been able to accept and forgive...whether ourselves or others. Because by forgetting, the lessons learned might also vanish. By forgiving, the heart becomes lighter. Take the experience we encounter in life, whether good or bad, as a guidance. The good ones as examples, the bad ones as precautions.

It is of course, easier said than done. There is a constant fight between mind and heart, logic and feelings. Stay silent or fight back? Get stepped on or rebel? Forget or hold a grudge? Just let it be, or revenge?

Has there been a situation where people would completely understand and support you if you choose to fight back or lose your temper, but you chose the opposite? You chose to stay silent and let it be.

Doing that does not mean that we are weak. There will be people who see us as weaklings or fools but that does not mean that they are right. Both compliments and criticism should be taken with a grain of salt. Not all compliments are sincere and not all criticism are bad. In the end, the only person standing in our shoes are us, and nobody would ever fully know, in exact, what we went through in our lives. Sometimes it's amusing to observe those who think we know nothing. Sometimes it's even more fun to play along with their games.

And it does not mean that we give up or stop fighting. Sometimes the effort of surviving forces us to take a break, to rest and replenish our energy. Even the act of giving up will stop once we regain the spirit to get back in the game of life. However the thing is, this life is too short and it's not worth holding grudges and stop trying. It is better to do what keeps us happy and sane, and leave the burden of our past behind but do not forget the lessons that made us who we are today, Find opportunities for ourselves in this remaining time of our lives. Obviously we see a spirited person when one fights and stands up for what one believes in, but remember, one who is silent also possess a quiet strength. The spirit of fighting must always be kept alive, however not every display of force or harsh words should be returned the same, sometimes it is better to save the energy for something more worthwhile.