Battle With Betrayal

 The pain of betrayal

Grips like hellfire

Endless tears in your heart

Silent words nobody hears

The darkness of night pulls you down

And alone you drown

The sun saves you each day

But forever it can never stay

Deep inside you could hear a sound

A faint cry for help

But no one is around

And lies come after lies

All you've seen and believe in

Illusions made for you

They shatters, and your little world crumbles

Truth does make you stronger

But it also makes you colder

Why wouldn't it be

When you lost something you protected with such ferocity

Something you thought would never leave you

Even when the whole world walks out on you

You kneel in desperation

Grasping blindly for fragments of truth

Piercing your numb fingers mercilessly

You look up at the sky

Hoping to see the sun

Just to realize that the storm is coming

In defeat you lay on the ground

Washed in sorrow

Helplessly uttering no sound

No sound at all.

Dance Of The Silence - Story Pt. 2

~Continued from . . . Dance Of The Silence - Story Pt. 1 with the poem Dance Of The Silence .~

         BANG! Belle's desks now lay on its side, a few meters away. Now Dianna and her group looked frightened. They all backed a few steps back, one for each step forward that Belle took. Belle then crouched down like a predator, ready to spring onto its victim. Giving enough time for the girls to wonder what she was going to do, she jumped as high as she can and clawed the air. Her long hair flied up in all directions and covered half her face.  "GROOOARRRR . . . !!!"

        "AAAAHHHH . . . !!!" Girlish screams filled the corridor. All The Poppies' members ran helter-skelter in all directions. Some slipped and fell before scrambling up again, including, as Belle had noted with satisfaction, their arrogant leader, Dianna. Belle had been able to jump and claw air for only a few meters when she collapsed on the floor laughing, unable to 'roar' anymore. Eyes wet with tears of laughter, she got up and set about restoring her desk and stuff to its original position. Exhausted and still giddy from her impressive performance,  Belle took her juice-stained poem and read it again.

  "The performance that only few can see through . . ."

         Belle laughed again. "Oh God , what a day . . ." She slung her bag over her shoulder, then switched off the fan before leaving the classroom. 

* * * * * * * * * * *

           Tanya giggled. What a story! She really felt like she could use it.

  "Tanya! What are you laughing at?"

         The sound of Miss Higgins' voice startled her. Luckily the recess bell rang and saved her from being interrogated by that strict and grumpy woman. However, Tanya's ordeal was not over yet. A group of seven girls crowded around her table. They were the girls from tenth grade, who often bully juniors into giving them money. The few students who chose to stay in class during that recess just looked on, nervous and curious.

  "Okay, kid. How much have you got today?"

            "Have you come across this book?" Tanya's sudden question puzzled the leader.

  "What? Why bother to read a stupid notebook? Are you trying to stall time? Hand over your money!"

           Tanya glanced at the red-haired girl sitting at the front corner of the class. She was watching them, and suddenly she nodded at Tanya with a secretive smile.

            At seeing that, Tanya smiled to herself. Then she lowered her sorry face and said in a timid voice , "No, please don't shout. I . . . I will give my money." However, Tanya did not reach into her pocket but slumped further into her chair and and lowered her head down as much as she could.

  "What are you doing, you imbecile?! Where's the mon- "

         The big bully was yelling at Tanya's slumped body and she had barely managed to finish her sentence when . . . "SHUT UP!!!" Tanya yelled directly to her face, causing her to stagger and stumbled backwards, crashing into her friends. They didn't catch her, and she landed on the floor. Traces of spit shone on her stunned expression.

             The redhead leaned her back against the wall, smiling . She watched as the drama unfolded before her eyes, not caring the teeniest bit about her notebook which fell on the floor when Tanya overturned her desk with a fierce growl . . .

- THE END -

          

These Torturous Feelings That You Don't Understand

'We all experience sorrow in our lives...there were times when it got too much and sometimes we wonder, how did I manage to get thru that?'

        You can't think of anything other than wanting to scream      

      To have a fit, to smash everything you can get your hands on    

                    To stomp until your bones crack                   

                    To punch until your fists bleed                   

         An urge to destroy so powerful it reaches out to evil        

a

                   But you can only sit down and cry                  

                      Mourn the pain in your soul                     

                   Not knowing why you feel that way                  

                    Afraid of becoming a bad person                   

                       A time bomb in your heart                      

                        A grief so unfathomable                       

        You even tried sitting motionless to stop from hurting        

                     And end up crying even harder                    

                You wish someone would come and save you              

                    Stop the sorrow from killing you                  

              Stay with you and hear what you want to say             

   Soothe the crippling cold fire and keep you from wondering astray  

                  You pray, you did, for self control                 

            For the life-saving smiles when patience is poor          

                  Until you find that you've recovered                

                The deadly fire that burned became ashes              

                      Feeling subdued and defeated                    

                         Too tired to care                            

                Thinking maybe this is your way to heal               

                             Then it starts                           

                             All over again                           

         These torturous feelings that you don't understand...        

The Confession...After The Confession.

Right there beside the window, at my desk I sat

Right there beside the wall, I lie down on my bed

Right there along the sidewalk, I walk with my friends

And there were times thoughts swirl in my mind

Falling down ceaselessly like drops of heavy rain. 
    
     Blinking in the darkness, trying to find a way
     Guilt written in my shadow
     Extending my hands, I reach for truth in the lights
     Why didn't it come to me eternities before?

            Looking at the hopeless reflections in my eyes

            Looking for the signs of forgiveness

            Looking at the specks of anger

            Looking for a flicker of forgiveness

            Looking at that set mouth

            Looking for the smile of forgiveness.

In your eyes, I am a fleck of snow

There are still thousands like me

I am cold, I have no feelings, I am hollow

You can brush me off when I land on your shoulder

You can step on me without caring if I'm hurt

And then I'll melt away into nothing, like winter.

     What's in your heart, I wonder?

     Where is your courage, I wonder?

     What do you think of me, I wonder?

     What are their perceptions of me, I wonder?

     Do you think I'm a fool, I wonder?

     Do I appeared to be a fool, I wonder?

     Did you have a good time, I wonder?

     Where is the respect that I deserve, I wonder.

             Stop giving me hints, I'm not dumb

             What are you thinking, lead me to the truth

             And hoping I'll solve the puzzle, put an end to the matter

             And relieve you of your responsibilities?

             Don't try to make me a puppet under your thumb

             I said stop giving hints, I don't yearn for you and I'm not dumb!

You shouldn't have bothered in the first place

Then I wouldn't have to worry about your feelings

I wouldn't wonder if there's something wrong that I did

I wouldn't feel guilty of the way you're being treated

Did you know how these things plagued my mind

All the unnecessary time and energy it claimed

Do you know how much you could've spare me if you confessed

When I've got so much more to think about other than the
feelings of someone who doesn't care?

          You know, it's not that I like you so much that it hurts so bad

          Come on, the fool that I may be, I'm not that stupid to give all of my heart so easily

          But because of the trust you betrayed

          I had held the faith that if things go wrong we'll put it right the way we should

          I had held the faith that you will be honest with me

          I had held the faith that you are different

          That whatever decision made it's a matter of two person

          Not a person... and a fleck of snow.

We don't die because there's no love, we die because there's no hope. I had hoped that you could at least be honest, like a friend should be. I would have been perfectly fine with that, if only you had told me.