Scribbles under the stars

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Have you cried while feeling so broken and alone, so lost that you felt like you are going insane, that to stop that crushing pain you really just had to hold your own hands tightly the way two persons would, hoping for the little comfort that you so desperately needed..because that comfort, is now a stranger.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Have you ever had to literally cover your ears, to stop hearing the conversation you wish you didn't had, or the things you wish you didn't hear, replaying again and again in your mind?

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you know when you truly genuinely wish for someone to have the best things in life, but your heart just proceeded to override your brain, eventually vandalizing your words and actions.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Then you scolded yourself over and over for the stupid things you did or said, promising yourself you'll be better, then end up losing the battle to your heart in split second? Ambushed by your own self without even had the chance to think twice. Shame on you, brain.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you know what it feels like to miss someone terribly, but couldn't even text properly or have a decent call anymore, because life. Life happens.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you understand how it feels to have to convince yourself that something better is coming to you..

...over and over again? Each day?

After losing what feels like the best?

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you know how hard it is to go through routine without the most likable parts of it in it? 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

And through those times when the pain suddenly hits, your heart beats wildly and you just want to collapse somewhere to recover, but cant.

Because you are somewhere you don't really want to be doing something you don't really feel like doing, around other people who are oblivious to your struggles.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you know how hard it is wishing and praying for someone's happiness while knowing that you are not a part of it anymore?

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The weight of emotions can be really crippling. Many people will agree. After all, we are just human.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Serius Di Muka, Mengarut Di Sini, Syahdu(?) Di Hati

Amaran: Rating PG13 kerana kegedikan dan karutan melampau.

___________________________________

Hello semuaaaa~~~ Today so nice isn'it ??

Jom kenal saya ...*tulis sambil duduk dengan belakang tegak dan penuh sopan*

*Bongkok balik* Lenguhlah. Jom kenal i sambil muntah. Sapa yang rasa banyak angin dalam perut tu bolehlah muntahkan angin biar makanan dapat dihadam.

Saje je nak kenalkan diri i di alam maya ni. Kat dunia sebenar i takleh gedik macam ni sebab nanti semua orang muntah darah dan tercirit.

Ciri fizikal ialah muka i selalu berkerut. Orang tengok mesti otomatik bengang tanpa sebab walaupun sebabnya ialah stress tengok muka i berkerut. Kalau you all tengok i macam tu janganlah ingat i tensen dengan you all pulak. I takde niat pun nak masam muka dengan you all tau...i concentrate je pun...ade jugak time muka i senyum tapi hati menggelegak Tuhan je yang tau. Hihi. Macam mana ni nanti i tak awet muda sebab muka kedut2..terpaksa la i latih muka i supaya tegang sikit... *sibuk cari selotep dalam laci*

Iyerr i memang gedik y'all baru tau kerrr?? Ni la design wallpaper rumah i kalau y'all nak tau!

Ala x jumpa la selotep..ugh. Ok takpe kita teruskan sesi berkenalgedik. Ciri tak fizikal ialah i ni split personality. Personaliti i di sini ialah suka mengarut dan melalut. Sebab di sini la tempat i lari sekejap dari stress di alam sebenar (pesal? Tak semayang la tuh dok ngadap PC release stress dari ngadap Tuhan?) Hahaha eyyy jangan cakap gitu ta baik taw. Kat sini i boleh kuarkan energy mengarut i yang terperangkap akibat bermuka serius lebih 8 jam sehari (ala2 tempoh pakai contact lense kan. Mengarut tol i ni).

Hati i syahdu. I salu fefeeling tengok movie dan dengar lagu. Tapi tak suka la fefeeling cerita sedeh atau cerita hantu. Sebab nanti i gedik melampaui batasan sebab terpaksa kontrol nangis atau menjerit secara ayu. Orang nangis Uwaaarghhhwarghwarghh srottt srooott tarik hingus i nangis sob. sob. sob. sampai nak tercabut idung sebab tekap tisu berjuta kali. Gedik macam i kan takleh tarik hingus srrottt sebab huduh. Duh~ tu pun tak tau ker...pastu kalau orang jerit ARRGGGHHGARGARGARkohkohkoh (tengah jerit nyamuk masuk tekak) i takleh buat macam dorang, i kena jerit dengan penuh jelita ala2 Aaahh...eee takott... sambil cover2 muka. Kuku wajib shiny dan liplap sebab bila i cover muka dengan tangan bolehlah menyerlahkan design kuku terbaru i...uh-huhh~~

Sebenarnya i pun konpius kenapa i cakap hati i syahdu...penipu betol. Kuku pun i xde warna tau. Warna kuning je la kekadang bergantung pada hari apa i masak ayam goreng kunyit.

Jangan percaya karutan i okey.

Babaizzzz you all take care see ya~~~ *lambai gedik sambil bosan*

Inilah kegedikan i yang sebenar tauuu...~

Y'all menyampah x...i pun same..hikhikhikkk~

Attacked By Nature...of nagging.

 

A   p   a    e   s         f    o    t    n            i            t    e       a   r

l     h   b    t              l    a    i    g            n           h             i

A  l  l      s   u   c  k  e  d

i   n   t   o

 t  h e

  t

    w

    i

  s

t

 e

   r

That grows bigger and

bigger

Howling fiercely around me

A sound low-pitch yet so LOUD

My ears are ringing

Twister reaches high into the clouds

The sky darkens

Lightning and thunder accompany

What?

I can't hear you

Amidst the chaos within me

 Try   to        w a l k                       a w a y

But escape         e l  u   d    e    s           me

Thrown into the center

Where calmness is deceiving

Is i, agonized

Words by words a-coming

Couldn't deflect them all

So i grit my teeth

Plant my feet between earth and stones

And again let the twister hit

Lightning, thunder, rain, just fall!

Though hunched so

low

i still

defy

My own stubbornness has its own style

Twister and all, you are powerful

But since you are passing this tunnel

Be quick, as you shall be

Through my ears.

In and out, please.

Before i know it.

This is the feeling of being attacked by nature...

The nature of nagging.
Hurhurhur.