Tebiat Dapur Musim Malas

Header yang simple (nama pun chef malas) tapi shomel ni aku rembat dari Google Image. Tenkiu Gugel.

Kalau aku malas, atau penat, atau terlampau lapar tapi malas atau penat haha...aku akan try buat menu yang simple dan sekejap je dah siap. Nak kata tahap orang bujang masak, rasanya kucing orang bujang pun boleh masak lebih cantik dari aku tapi apa boleh buat, hidup perlu diteruskan...  *sad background music*

Aku akan pakai apa-apa yang segera dan biasanya perencah tu mmg boleh pakai untuk banyak jenis masakan contohnya pes tomyam, sambal belacan segera, sos, malah pes kuah laksa sarawak (kalau tak pakai akan jadi hiasan dalam kabinet aku je kot siap boleh guna untuk ternak cendawan lagi kalau simpan bertahun-tahun).

Disebabkan aku ni mengada so aku mesti nak tambah sikit2 walau simple mana pun. Maksud simple tu macam telur goreng, hotdog goreng...yang macam tu korang seme memang arif sangat la kan. Dahla aku tak set sangat sukatan2 ni sebab suka main campak je...sebab tu setiap kali masak jadi lain hahaha. Dan aku salu masak sikit2 sebab aku sorang je yang makan. Kucing aku biasanya aku kedekut nak bagi sebab masa kecik dulu perut dorang sombong, salah makan je cirit. Cirit meletop-letop. Ha nanti aku cite kisah cirit meletop ni di lain post k sebab karang korang tak dapat imagine resepi malas aku dengan aman. Haha.

Berikut merupakan masakan malas aku, opss maksud i terlampau penat atau terlampau lapar nak masak lama-lama tapi tekak menyombong, taknak megi atau biskut atau masakan satu bahan je (1 bahan mentah  + minyak masak).

Resepi 1 : Hotdog Apa Yang Ada

Bahan: Hotdog (aku pakai 3 batang, potong kecik ikut suka), pes tomyam, sos (aku pakai sos bbq)

Cara: Panaskan minyak (takyahla banyak sangat kang kena buang balik kalau over), goreng hotdog, pastu campak sikit sos and sikit pes tomyam (setengah sudu teh ke ikut korang la nk rasa tomyam kuat mana). Gaul2 siap makan.

Resepi 2 : Megi Sayur Baby

Bahan: Megi Mamee Kari Letup (faveret aku hasil pengaruh Ms. Noureez), sayur baby kailan (i like sebab rangupsss), bwg merah n bwg putih
Cara: Tumis sikit kisah tragis (bwg merah dan bwg putih ler) dalam minyak sesudu sebelum tuang air (atau lg senang rebus bebawang dalam kuah megi tu terus), campak perencah dan baby kailan kemudian gaul2 sikit, pastu masukkan megi. Dah siap makanlah dengan bahagia.

Resepi 3 : Bosan Ngan Nasik

Bahan: Paratha (roti canai pun boleh tapi aku suka paratha), kari sayur segera (ada yang frozen jual kt kedai), kari daging/ayam/ikan tunjuk (maksudnye yang beli kt kedai hahahah).
Cara: Paratha segera tu dikuarkan dari peti sejuk, tak perlu thaw terus letak dalam kuali yang dah di panaskan minyak. Balik2kan la supaya dua belah masak, kang macam paratha oreo pulak sebelah hitam sebelah putih. Pastu kari sayur segera yang frozen tu letak dalam periuk dan tambah air sikit biar cair dan menggelegak. Perasakan sesuka hati. Siap dua2 makanla. Lagi sedap kot makan dengan kari tunjuk XD. Eh pagi ni aku breakfast paratha ngan susu manis...nyum.

Resepi 4 : Sayur Kacang Lupa Beli Bawang


Bahan: Sayur kacang panjang atau sweet peas (ala2 gitulah sukati korang nak pakai sayur pe pun tapi taktau la resultnya macam mana), pes sambal belacan segera (ala macam asam jawa Xtra tu, aku pakai yang manis)
Cara: Panaskan minyak sikit dalam kuali, campak pes sambal belacan diikuti sayur. Gaul dan garamkan sesukanya. Seperti biasa apa yang digaul dalam kuali akan berakhir di dalam perut.

Resepi 5 : Ayam Goreng Masih Boleh Tahan Lapar Setengah Jam

Bahan: Ayam, pes kuah laksa sarawak (perapkan la dlm 20min ke)
Cara: Panaskan minyak, letak ayam yang diperap secara lemah lembut (jangan campak macam resepi kat atas kang dengan muka sekali terkena goreng) ke dalam kuali dan gorengkan smpai masak. Aku dapat tau boleh goreng ayam macam ni dari instruction belakang pes laksa tu hihihihihihiihihihiiiii~~~ Bau dia boleh tahan...rasa? Gaulkan ngan madu pun xpe atau tmbah garam sikit masa perap tu. Tak tau la kalo pes laksa sarawak korang dah memang cukup masin. Endingnya *ngapngap**burp*.


Macam aku cakap tadi senang2 lagi malas2 buat je masakan 1 bahan...goreng ikan masin sebagai lauk pun sodap...Sekarang korang dah tau tebiat dapur musim malas aku. Sekian tima kasih.

*Dah upgrade aku-aku pulak eh..dulu saya-saya...semakin lama semakin mesra la konon...

Tragic Follow-Up Cases All Around The World

- TRASH TABLOID FRONT PAGE -

A 500 Years Old Workaholic Remains Unearthed! - Bones uncovered, phone still to ear. Worked to death, still worked (kinda) centuries later.

And the story started like this....:

Calling. . .

Answer : *high-pitch fax machine sound*

Calling again. . .

Answer : *engaged*

Sigh. Another call. . .

Answer : *still engaged*

15 minutes later.

Calling *nobody picking up* (repeat 5 times)

Finally...

Answer: Hello, AAA company, how can i help you?

Caller: Oh hello! This is Z from BBB. We sent u a letter about Spongebobby Pants. Did u receive it?

Answer: Hold on ya let me check...

Caller: *holding. . .*

Answer: To whom was it addressed to? . . .What date? Who signed the letter?

Caller: *replied to all the questions while waiting in between*

Answer: Oh it was passed to GG division. Can you hold on please, i'm going to pass u to them.

Caller: Yes, thank you.

Answer: *music*   *more music*

Caller: *stubble began to grow on chin*

Answer: Hello.

Caller: Hello. This is Z from BBB. We sent u a letter about Spongebobby Pants. Did u receive it?

Answer: *common Q&A about letter ensued before being passed on to somebody*

Caller: Hello this is Z from BBB. We sent u a letter about Spongebobby Pants. Did u receive it?

Answer: When did you issue the letter?

Caller: Two weeks ago.

Answer: Oh that one about Spongebobby Pants right? Wanting to run Crabby Patties' franchise right?

Caller: *excited* Yes, yes.

Answer: Erm we issued a letter to CCC for feedback but...they haven't replied yet.

Caller: Oh...we need that information as soon as possible because tomorrow we will have our meeting..

Answer: Erm...*gibberish* why don't you try calling them up?

Caller: (why must i call the third party, i'm not the one issuing the letter but if i don't call who knows when will i get any feedback) Ok can you please give the name and number of the person-in-charge?

Answer: A~ctually i~ don't~ know who is the~ person-in-charge but you can try call the general number, i'll give you the number...

Caller: *sighed inwardly* Ok..

Calling for the umpteenth time. . .

Answer: Hello, CCC.

Caller: Hello. This is Z from BBB. We sent a letter about Spongebobby Pants to BBB and they said they issued a letter to you asking for feedback?

Answer: Hold on ya i'll pass you to the lettering department.

Caller: *held tightly for fear of rising blood pressure*

Answer: *music*   *more music* Hello.

Caller: *hopeful* Hello?

Answer: Eh you again, they didn't pick up? *quickly reconnecting the line*

Caller: *condition deteriorating*

Answer: *more music*   *endless music*   *eternal melody till the end of time*

Caller: *died*   *rot*   *turned into skeleton* 

...and end of story.

If i am a boss.....-

...-but on less than a quarter of a second thought.... hell, no! Imagine running a bunch of people like me and the above. Aaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa going crazy already just thinking about it!!!

Better go get my meds. Ok bubbah.

Why Do You Still Keep Her Picture?

You said she's just a stranger

And she said the same

But she sent you a picture

Her looking so pretty

You said you and her could probably be together

If there is no me

Imagine how i feel hearing about that

Knowing love is fading in your heart

You're so suffocated

A caged bird for so long

Longing to be free

A desire so strong

She's someone who's passing by

While you're stuck at a junction

Greetings turned into conversations

Then you're listening to her heart

Soon she's into you

What am i to do?

I can't blame love

When love is blind

When you and her parted ways

Why do you still keep her picture?

She was such a stranger

But of course, she's pretty and probably much nicer

If things really end

Then i really don't understand

Why do you still keep her picture

Even when i point it out to you

It's still in your phone

Do you like to be reminded of her?

Maybe that's why you still keep her picture

And never ask for mine anymore.