Can't Seem To Die

Time flows
But this wound still surprises me
I stomped hard on that dying ember somewhere within
Thickened the layers of frost around my heart
Hoping to numb whatever it is that im feeling
Couldn't say what i truly feel
Instead i say what i thought was right
Hearing your voice made me truly realized i haven't stopped missing you
Even while asking God to remove this pain I cried at the thought that
It could mean letting go of how much you meant to me
How could i think like this?
Am i stupid?
To hold onto what is left of your traces even if it is pain
I really, really didn't know i have the capacity to love someone like this
Even when our future is a black hole
I should've given up already
And it's not like i did'nt try
I lived each day, i charged forward, i danced, i sing, i laughed, i have fun
For i couldn't even dare to hope and ask God for another chance
Yet that tiny stubborn little spark, even though buried over and over again under the dirt,
Can't seem to die.

My Illusions, My Temporary Wings

  Let these illusions last forever  

  Envelope me in the mirage  

  Carry me into the furthest unknown  

  Bind me willingly in these lies  

  I'll stand on the edge of danger  

  Lulled into deadly calm  

  Wondering about my direction  

  Feeling jittery with each step  

  The wheels are turning with me on it  

  Up i go then down below  

  Holding onto things i don't know  

  But this illusion keeps me alive  

  Face smiling over the water  

  Hands and feet kicking furiously under  

  Until the day they touch land  

  It will then come to an end  

  And i'll be thankful  

  For the hope and faith in me  

  As flimsy and wavering as they can appear to be  

  They are always there rooted for me  

  Keep me grounded in my surreal life  

  But right now  

  Let me live my illusions  

  My temporary wings that let me fly  

  Recovering my spirit  

  Time and again.   

Me Vs. Them